Reclaiming My Power through Birth + Maternal Advocacy

How My Birth Story Sparked a Mission to Empower and Protect Mothers

I delivered my baby in the bathtub. I was not surrounded by candlelight or soft music. In the moments leading up to my son’s arrival, my doula and midwife coached me over the phone as my husband paced nearby, anxious and apologetic that we wouldn’t make it to the hospital in time.

When we finally arrived by ambulance, the doctors congratulated me. My son was healthy. I was healthy. With only a short hospital stay ahead, I hoped it would be like the empowering, albeit chaotic, experience I had just lived through.

Instead, my stay revealed something different: how easily bodily autonomy can become an afterthought in our medical system. I was relentlessly harassed about taking an unnecessary test that would have separated me from my newborn. When I declined, a social worker was assigned to my case. What should have been a moment for recovery was overshadowed by a system that too often prioritizes compliance and profit over patient care.

Nearly two years later, I remain grateful—both for my birth and for the clarity it gave me. My son and I are thriving, thanks to God’s grace. And I feel called to help other families navigate the medical system with dignity, power, and support. When parents are equipped with the right tools, whether in knowing what to expect or understanding their rights, and are supported by their village, everyone benefits.

Know What To Expect

The U.S. lacks a well-funded and fully staffed birthing infrastructure. While there are alternatives to hospital births, nearly 98% of births still take place in them.

In those settings, especially those operating at less than 100% capacity, interventions are sometimes presented as required rather than optional. My birth educators introduced me to the BRAIN model—a simple framework for asking the right questions about any procedure.

• Benefits: How might the recommended procedure help/benefit me and/or my baby?

• Risks: How could the recommended procedure harm/pose a risk to me and/or my baby?

• Alternatives: What are the alternatives to this procedure? What are the benefits & risks of those alternatives?

• Intuition: What is my intuition/gut telling me about this course of action?

• Nothing: What would happen if we choose to do nothing right now?

While primarily used during labor, the BRAIN model helped me avoid an unnecessary exam that would have separated me from my baby. Birth education courses can prepare you with similar tools, and I encourage every expectant parent to take them.

Know Your Rights

Birth is unpredictable, and while we expect the medical system to protect us, patients need to know their legal rights. Overextended healthcare systems sometimes prioritize hospital policy or even legislation over patient well-being.

The tragic case of Adriana Smith, a pregnant Black woman kept on life support against her family’s wishes, underscores this reality. The Patient’s Bill of Rights provides clear guidelines, including your right to clear information about proposed interventions or tests, your ability to refuse or delay an intervention without fear of retaliation or mistreatment, and/or your right to request a second opinion.

Whenever possible, have an advocate present who can speak on your behalf if you are unable to do so.

Build Your Advocacy Village

Even when Black and Brown women have higher income levels or educational access, they face disproportionately poorer maternal health outcomes compared to white women with fewer resources. Countless high-profile Black women, from Allyson Felix to Serena Williams, have shared their own challenging birth stories and experiences with medical care.

While systemic change is essential, your own advocacy village can help you navigate the healthcare system. Your advocacy village might include your partner, family, friends, a doula, or anyone committed to understanding your birth plan and supporting you through it. They can attend classes and, in some cases, even join appointments, where they may have the opportunity to meet your care team in advance. Consider these opportunities to build out your village:

• Identify the parents in your community. Consider asking them about the resources that were most helpful during pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood.

• When seeking doula support, ask them how they would communicate with your care team and if they’d be willing to join an appointment before the birth.

• Talk to the elders in your family, culture, or community. Ask them about the rituals and practices they’ve experienced or witnessed around birth and postpartum.

While it takes a village to raise a child, it is equally important to have a village to support a woman as she transitions into motherhood. Though many cultural rituals and practices around birth and postpartum have been lost in the hustle of everyday life, and the lack of paid parental leave hinders caregivers’ access to space and time to heal and recover, we can rebuild and reclaim the village that our foremothers once knew—one that reminds families that they are not alone in this transition in life.

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